EDIT!
(Every Day Is Thursday!)
As I'm sure you're by now aware, the new mantra around the compound is "EDIT!," a horrible, horrible thing. As such, I haven't had time to wordsmith out some quality updates on the life of Nips, so I'm going to quickly bring you up to speed before one of the most eventful weekends of the summer is upon us (me).
Lessee, firstly, a couple weekends ago, I set out to conquer das boot. The event was to take place at Gasthof's, an awesome purveyor of German lemonade, on a Saturday night. It turned out, however, that the boot required a stiff deposit and, more importantly, was a bit too aerodynamic for the groove thang shaking that was to be done. To polka covers of 1990's music (Wouldn't want that boot lodged in some unfortunate nook, cranny, or crevice). Anyway, I stuck with the more traditional mug style, thinking that this would pay off the next day. Then I proceeded to unwittingly consume 2.5 liters of German beer. That's a half liter more than the boot. Curses.
The next day Switch crash landed at my pad on her way to the Bender. To reorient her, I took her to a victorious Twins game (her first, and probably last, in the Dome), saw some big cherry on a spoonbridge, and let her test drive my fancy new futon mattress. I sent her on her way in the morning on my way to work and did not emerge from the dungeon until several hours after she had completed the 10 hr trek to Domerville. It was an exciting Monday!
Mmm... so last weekend... I stayed out in the 'burbs and caught a few rays, but mostly z's. Ended up downtown on Saturday night babysitting the drunkards. AND I WON A GAME OF CRICKET! It is possible that this is not unrelated to the fact that I was holding the car keys... and that my 3 opponents cashed out 3 rounds early... but I won! And absolutely nobody in the entire bar cared. So I forced Emily to take a picture of me.
So far, the week has just about matched up. Apparently looking the ghost of Eleanor Abernathy in the face over the weekend was enough to neatly burn off the entire epilayer of cells from my eyeball. I suppose that it was either that, or the toxic chemicals that, it seems, are being belched into the air of bay 3 in the cleanroom. Regardless, the "skin" of my eye is peeling off, much like a sunburn. You might imagine that this would be quite painful. You would imagine correctly.
What's more awesome? The doctor gave me these fancy treatments to "fix" the problem. A quick look through the ingredients shows that she gave me watered down piranha etch. Just last week, I used this very same solution to completely dissolve copper from a plastic sheet. In the semiconductor biz, this concoction is used to clean just about anything off of a wafer. Because it eats just about anything. Piranha. It reacted so violently, that it melted the plastic wipe the beaker was sitting on and was bubbling like crazy the whole time. There's a warning on the bottle to not shoot the solution directly into your eye. The doctor said that people usually only do that once. So that's pretty cool.
And for now, I'm lubricating my eyeballs with eye lube. Jelly. Very kinky.
As I'm sure you're by now aware, the new mantra around the compound is "EDIT!," a horrible, horrible thing. As such, I haven't had time to wordsmith out some quality updates on the life of Nips, so I'm going to quickly bring you up to speed before one of the most eventful weekends of the summer is upon us (me).
Lessee, firstly, a couple weekends ago, I set out to conquer das boot. The event was to take place at Gasthof's, an awesome purveyor of German lemonade, on a Saturday night. It turned out, however, that the boot required a stiff deposit and, more importantly, was a bit too aerodynamic for the groove thang shaking that was to be done. To polka covers of 1990's music (Wouldn't want that boot lodged in some unfortunate nook, cranny, or crevice). Anyway, I stuck with the more traditional mug style, thinking that this would pay off the next day. Then I proceeded to unwittingly consume 2.5 liters of German beer. That's a half liter more than the boot. Curses.The next day Switch crash landed at my pad on her way to the Bender. To reorient her, I took her to a victorious Twins game (her first, and probably last, in the Dome), saw some big cherry on a spoonbridge, and let her test drive my fancy new futon mattress. I sent her on her way in the morning on my way to work and did not emerge from the dungeon until several hours after she had completed the 10 hr trek to Domerville. It was an exciting Monday!
Mmm... so last weekend... I stayed out in the 'burbs and caught a few rays, but mostly z's. Ended up downtown on Saturday night babysitting the drunkards. AND I WON A GAME OF CRICKET! It is possible that this is not unrelated to the fact that I was holding the car keys... and that my 3 opponents cashed out 3 rounds early... but I won! And absolutely nobody in the entire bar cared. So I forced Emily to take a picture of me.So far, the week has just about matched up. Apparently looking the ghost of Eleanor Abernathy in the face over the weekend was enough to neatly burn off the entire epilayer of cells from my eyeball. I suppose that it was either that, or the toxic chemicals that, it seems, are being belched into the air of bay 3 in the cleanroom. Regardless, the "skin" of my eye is peeling off, much like a sunburn. You might imagine that this would be quite painful. You would imagine correctly.
What's more awesome? The doctor gave me these fancy treatments to "fix" the problem. A quick look through the ingredients shows that she gave me watered down piranha etch. Just last week, I used this very same solution to completely dissolve copper from a plastic sheet. In the semiconductor biz, this concoction is used to clean just about anything off of a wafer. Because it eats just about anything. Piranha. It reacted so violently, that it melted the plastic wipe the beaker was sitting on and was bubbling like crazy the whole time. There's a warning on the bottle to not shoot the solution directly into your eye. The doctor said that people usually only do that once. So that's pretty cool.And for now, I'm lubricating my eyeballs with eye lube. Jelly. Very kinky.
Get it? Piranhas? Twins? No?
Posted by
ndNips |
11:47 PM
Twins etch? What?
Does anyone else have leeches? No?
Posted by
Emily |
12:11 AM
She gave you pirahna for your eyes?? Holy crap, man. Time to find a new doctor.
Posted by
Goat |
9:40 AM