Nips' Conniptions

So I thought I would be cool and embed my pics into my blog... but blogger said no. So you have to click on this link. Painful, I know.

In the spirit of vacation, this is all I will write.

Enjoy the pics!

-Nips.

Posted by ndNips at 8:30 PM | Permalink | Comments

It's true: I was sitting there, minding my own business, humbly folding, frapeeing, slicing, blending, beating, and baking together the ingredients necessary for a weekend of rock, good cheer, and pleasantaries, when out of nowhere, the normally benign father time/mother earth/Emily Ulrich shot out a *BAM*... the results of which are surely more catastrophic than any other weekend's events in history. The Polis is still smoldering, in fact. I'm surprised you haven't read about it. Read a newspaper, come on. Savage.

So you're thinking to yourself right now: "Alright... about to hear some interesting/boring description/diatribe/monologue about Nips' life/birthday/random trip around town. I'm interested!" Well, I don't believe you. If you were interested, perhaps you would have called. Mmm?

Well, it was grazy. Great. Crazy. Great and crazy.

Fury was ignited and passion was birthed. Both, it turns out, are fairly nauseating in and of themselves... but throwing them together with some rock slop, results in... well, you know.

In addition, I went to Catfish Days with my brothers... first time we have ever all hung out, interestingly enough. Ya know those old prison movies where there is a whole cafeteria full of generally foul smelling/appearing individuals and everything in the entire room was covered in chicken wire? While it may seem like I'm describing your middle school lunch room, in fact I am describing the Catfish Days beer tent. Oh, forgot to add that I walked through 6 fights.

"If a guy were dressed like that in South Dakota, he'd also be bloody and in the middle of the street."

Fanning the fire was a trip to the Twins game, zoo, minigolf course, pool hall, "Mosquito Island" sand bar, Nowhere, WI, and Bucas, where we were not unannoyed by an enormous party and an incredibly disinterested waitress.

Huge special thanks go out to all who rocked 'er over the week. This includes Scooby, even though that freakin' guy never actually made it. Most especially, thanks to Emily for the fooood and really quite thoughtful gifts! It was actually the best birthday I ever remember.

Yeah, and Moose = Awesome.

Posted by ndNips at 5:57 PM | Permalink | Comments

So, really, it would be pretty much impossible for me to compress the events of the past week and a half into one blog. In fact, it would be pretty much impossible for me to even tell you about the events of the past week, so large are they in number. Baseball games were won, sleep tests run, bbqs stood, and large colorful explosions viewed. There was sun to enjoy, cheap footballs to purchase, and relaxation to be had. All in all, it was pretty much amazingly awesome. Or awesomely amazing... you pick.

However:

There was one choice moment. One luminal moment that was so powerful and enlightening that it has been permanently etched into the neural connections of my brain. For sooth, this occasion was the capstone of a nearly year long crusade: a battle and quest for all that is good, deep fried, and delicious. I found some minidonuts. Emily and I found some minidonuts at the annual Taste of Minnesota event in downtown St. Paul. I found some warm, doughy, utterly astoundingly delicious minidonuts. I have to say that the marketing campaign was pretty impressive, too: Approaching the vendor, guests are hit with a barrage of signage including "10 Feet to Minidonuts!" and "Best Minidonuts Ever HERE." They really came close, too.

But that wasn't the the moment of ecstasy I am describing. Indeed, the moment I am relating to you was so powerful that it made the immediately preceding miracle seem practically paltry in nature. A short background...

This weekend, someone told me that if EE fell through for me, I could be a gameshow host. The thought that someone would ever say that stopped me in my tracks for a moment (as I'm sure it would do to my frosh roommates...), but I came to think about how much free crap I have swindled out of lonely Subway employees over the years. These poor people sit alone for hours, oftentimes without any customers, hating their lives. A little convo is more than worth the consequences of a free soda or cookie, apparently.

Cut back.

So the minidonuts were not "Tom Thumb" minidonuts... casting serious doubt on how genuine they were, and, indeed, how tasty they would be. Over the past few months, I have become increasingly good and narrowing the search and eliminating impostors from my hungry gullet. To verify their deliciousness, I decided to start a very animated conversation with the attendant in the trailer. This convo continued, so as to include the owner of the establishment himself. Soon, he begged me to try a free sample of his incredible new concoction.

And here it is.

Vanilla soft serve.
+
Hot, fresh out of the fryer minidonuts.
+
Vanilla soft serve.
+
Chocolate syrup.

Sweet Lord, Pappy Johnson with an erection, this is the most amazing amalgamation of food products ever to be dreamt up. Seriously, it was amazing. A defining moment in my life.

And to think that it happened at the ripe old age of 23. Twenty freaking three. Apparently it has been this many years to the day that this blue planet has been blessed with this shining mug.

Also, I was accused of having hat hair 3 times this weekend. It's my real hair, you jerks.

Posted by ndNips at 4:51 PM | Permalink | Comments