Nips' Conniptions

This cold crap is really starting to get to me. It was -14 this morning when I went to work. No big deal. The bizarre thing is that this cold snap comes on the heels of an unseasonably warm 2 days. Temps on Monday reached 40F, which felt just about like what I believe heaven feels like. To celebrate the heat wave, I carpe'd that Sun-diem by venturing out to the middle of Lake Calhoun to get an interesting view of downtown and the surrounding area from a vantage point that would normally require a canoe and 3 oz. of perspiration. And greater than 32 degrees.

While out there, I saw several other people who were trying to exorcise their cabin demons through "extreme" sports. One particularly interesting setup involved a large motorcycle-esque contraption with a winding spool that was staked into the ice. The line on the spool was pulled by a 4-wheeler to a snowboarder who would ride the retrieved tow line in water ski fashion back towards the staked biker. After building speed, he'd do a trick on a makeshift quarterpipe. On a lake.


Also, the kitesurfers captivated my attention. What these thrill seekers lacked in skill compared to their warm weather brethren I spied in FL, they made up for in numbers. Which led to humorous collisions. Turns out that it was a very nice day to be out... but not really windy at all. As a result, the kiteski/boarders looked a lot like me standing out there on the ice... except for their big kite in the air. It still looked like a good time, though.


Finally, we checked out the Winter Carnival to see the huge ice sculptures that sit out in the middle of St. Paul. We missed out on the ice maze, snow carving contest, giant snow slide, hot dish tent, coronation, medallion hunt, torch parade, national figure skating competition... but we saw some pretty cool ice. I was heartened to find that the organizers had just as much difficulty as I did photographing the chilly art when I snagged this one off of their website (That's the Wizard of Oz).

Well, see ya!

Stay warm.

Posted by ndNips at 9:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

freezing.

Posted by ndNips at 3:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

There are two main Interstate highways that service the Twin Cities metropolitan area. Each of these branch out to provide inter- and intra-city transit. The traffic of Minneapolis is primarily fed by I-35W from the north and south, I-94 from the east and northwest, and finally I-394, a shunt trunk line, to the west. Other interstates in the area, including I-494 and I-694 act as bypasses and largely serve suburban motorists. This leaves the city of Minneapolis, proper, with 3 Interstates. It has been well documented that we are currently just shy of that number, following an abrupt "correction" caused by intensely (INTENSELY?) hot 90 degree weather... apparently. Life goes on sans-bridge. Interestingly, today a fuel tanker truck carrying a 8000 gallon load of gasoline spontaneously rolled off of an onramp at the junction of I-394 and I-94, a very short distance from the Lowry Tunnel - commonly known as "The Bottleneck." In one fell swoop, and at 100 gallons of unleaded gasoline a minute, the hapless trucker shut down both of the remaining Interstates for the duration of the day. It should be noted that hazmat vehicles are not allowed through the tunnel, so... how, sir, did you find yourself in this predicament? Workers struggled to catch the petroleum product by blasting it through the labyrinthine storm sewers under the city until it escaped 10 feet away from a 35W bridge construction site badly in need of an exorcism.

Traffic, as you would imagine was snarled up on all of the back roads during rush hour. It really brightened up my cold, damp walk home from work. Suckers.

Posted by ndNips at 10:33 PM | Permalink | Comments

"That pizza guy was a jerk."

"How much did you give him?"

"Zero dollars."

Ring. Pants. Bed. Done.

So that is how it ended... Being mindful of the outcomes of the raids of our forefathers, we naturally chose Normandy to be the site of initial incursion; the heart of the tempest. It was from there, the bathtubs lined with munitions, that the rest of the assault was to be waged.


Dusk was falling on the year 2007 as I waited on a careening, protesting bus headed for the South bank of the Mississippi, all the while calculating the high likelihood that I would pen the post: "Cheese Grater II, Cheddar Believe It" at the onset of 2008. It was cold and damp. At that hour, the locked skyways make a mockery of you, offering monolithic indifference as Shortstuff and I alighted the Metropolitan steed and snuck under the cover of darkness to our post by foot. It was cold.

Inside, after confirming earlier reports that milk and cookies would be served by the hotel staff at the stroke of 10, we laid our plans... and took politically incorrect pictures. Favors were hung, music was brought out, and merriment was made. Following the long tradition of the Beer Chair, a new weapon was introduced to the arsenal with much fanfare: The Beer Glove. Used while in transit about town, the Glove kept spirits high as beer caches were stowed about the burg, in anticipation of a NYE retreat. The beer actually got colder in your hand, the mercury was dropping so fast.

Settling, finally, on the Lodge, we burned the city right to the ground with about 450 other crazed fools. Some poor suckers actually paid $250 for access to couches... which we immediately imposed on. Apparently there were bloody casualties and hospital runs, averted rapes, and even horrifying dancing beer dispensers. 112 pictures were taken with the camera in my charge alone. Of nothing, really.

Then someone convinced me to order two pizzas after darting in and out of traffic in the cold. One with green olives and pepperoni. Suffa me.

Zero dollars.

The next day it took an hour and a half to get french toast. Could have had something to do with the smoking remains of their beachhead, but perhaps karma played a larger role.


Happy 2008.

Posted by ndNips at 7:59 PM | Permalink | Comments