Horror...
So I suppose I never explained the death of the Passat! It went down a little something like this: I drove into a lake at 70 mph, paid $1000 to get the poor boy running again, only to find that it had another $1000 worth of work to go. Cut. Sure there were some more heart warming moments to the story that may have been left out, such as how the lake just happened to be on the interstate and more closely resembled a tidal wave... how I struggled against the odds to move out of the left lane pushing the car through a foot of running water... how the car actually died twice in the same week for lake-related issues... etc. But that's neither here nor there.
Speaking of stopping German cars... about a month ago I was driving home from Chicago with a rapscallion crew and was mysteriously pulled over by Wisconsin's finest. I was quite surprised, since I was actually not speeding at the time. The fatheaded donut consumer asked if we knew why we were being pulled over and we honestly answered "No, sir!" His response was "I'm not sure if you realize this, but your headlights are not on." D'oh. Making the situation more hillarious, I had actually turned the lights on and even commented "Well, I suppose I'll conform and turn on the lights," but apparently did not turn them far enough. Fatty got radioed from a bike cop we saw just a few seconds earlier. For some reason it took him a good 10 minutes to "call it in" and gave me a warning. I made a joke about "silly Germans" and, after an overly complicated and unnecessary description of how to get from the shoulder to the right lane, he let us off on our way. Turns out the switch for the lights was a little screwed up and not working the way I thought it would. Strange how "This isn't my car" didn't tip the cop off to anything, though...
One final story from that weekend, though there are many. We went out to Rush street in Chicago. By "went out", however, I really mean, walked down the street and back to the train station. Why? We'll never quite know. Perhaps it had something to do with how one of our party mashed her face into the concrete and only got up after a sizable crowd of gawkers amassed. It isn't clear. A funny moment, however, was when a beggar approached me and asked "Excuse me, could you spare some change for the homeless?" To which I truthfully replied "I'm not going to lie to you, sir... I can't even see you right now." Good times.
Speaking of stopping German cars... about a month ago I was driving home from Chicago with a rapscallion crew and was mysteriously pulled over by Wisconsin's finest. I was quite surprised, since I was actually not speeding at the time. The fatheaded donut consumer asked if we knew why we were being pulled over and we honestly answered "No, sir!" His response was "I'm not sure if you realize this, but your headlights are not on." D'oh. Making the situation more hillarious, I had actually turned the lights on and even commented "Well, I suppose I'll conform and turn on the lights," but apparently did not turn them far enough. Fatty got radioed from a bike cop we saw just a few seconds earlier. For some reason it took him a good 10 minutes to "call it in" and gave me a warning. I made a joke about "silly Germans" and, after an overly complicated and unnecessary description of how to get from the shoulder to the right lane, he let us off on our way. Turns out the switch for the lights was a little screwed up and not working the way I thought it would. Strange how "This isn't my car" didn't tip the cop off to anything, though...
One final story from that weekend, though there are many. We went out to Rush street in Chicago. By "went out", however, I really mean, walked down the street and back to the train station. Why? We'll never quite know. Perhaps it had something to do with how one of our party mashed her face into the concrete and only got up after a sizable crowd of gawkers amassed. It isn't clear. A funny moment, however, was when a beggar approached me and asked "Excuse me, could you spare some change for the homeless?" To which I truthfully replied "I'm not going to lie to you, sir... I can't even see you right now." Good times.
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