The Fourth of Awesome
So, really, it would be pretty much impossible for me to compress the events of the past week and a half into one blog. In fact, it would be pretty much impossible for me to even tell you about the events of the past week, so large are they in number. Baseball games were won, sleep tests run, bbqs stood, and large colorful explosions viewed. There was sun to enjoy, cheap footballs to purchase, and relaxation to be had. All in all, it was pretty much amazingly awesome. Or awesomely amazing... you pick.
However:
There was one choice moment. One luminal moment that was so powerful and enlightening that it has been permanently etched into the neural connections of my brain. For sooth, this occasion was the capstone of a nearly year long crusade: a battle and quest for all that is good, deep fried, and delicious. I found some minidonuts. Emily and I found some minidonuts at the annual Taste of Minnesota event in downtown St. Paul. I found some warm, doughy, utterly astoundingly delicious minidonuts. I have to say that the marketing campaign was pretty impressive, too: Approaching the vendor, guests are hit with a barrage of signage including "10 Feet to Minidonuts!" and "Best Minidonuts Ever HERE." They really came close, too.
But that wasn't the the moment of ecstasy I am describing. Indeed, the moment I am relating to you was so powerful that it made the immediately preceding miracle seem practically paltry in nature. A short background...
This weekend, someone told me that if EE fell through for me, I could be a gameshow host. The thought that someone would ever say that stopped me in my tracks for a moment (as I'm sure it would do to my frosh roommates...), but I came to think about how much free crap I have swindled out of lonely Subway employees over the years. These poor people sit alone for hours, oftentimes without any customers, hating their lives. A little convo is more than worth the consequences of a free soda or cookie, apparently.
Cut back.
So the minidonuts were not "Tom Thumb" minidonuts... casting serious doubt on how genuine they were, and, indeed, how tasty they would be. Over the past few months, I have become increasingly good and narrowing the search and eliminating impostors from my hungry gullet. To verify their deliciousness, I decided to start a very animated conversation with the attendant in the trailer. This convo continued, so as to include the owner of the establishment himself. Soon, he begged me to try a free sample of his incredible new concoction.
And here it is.
Vanilla soft serve.
+
Hot, fresh out of the fryer minidonuts.
+
Vanilla soft serve.
+
Chocolate syrup.
Sweet Lord, Pappy Johnson with an erection, this is the most amazing amalgamation of food products ever to be dreamt up. Seriously, it was amazing. A defining moment in my life.
And to think that it happened at the ripe old age of 23. Twenty freaking three. Apparently it has been this many years to the day that this blue planet has been blessed with this shining mug.
Also, I was accused of having hat hair 3 times this weekend. It's my real hair, you jerks.
However:
There was one choice moment. One luminal moment that was so powerful and enlightening that it has been permanently etched into the neural connections of my brain. For sooth, this occasion was the capstone of a nearly year long crusade: a battle and quest for all that is good, deep fried, and delicious. I found some minidonuts. Emily and I found some minidonuts at the annual Taste of Minnesota event in downtown St. Paul. I found some warm, doughy, utterly astoundingly delicious minidonuts. I have to say that the marketing campaign was pretty impressive, too: Approaching the vendor, guests are hit with a barrage of signage including "10 Feet to Minidonuts!" and "Best Minidonuts Ever HERE." They really came close, too.
But that wasn't the the moment of ecstasy I am describing. Indeed, the moment I am relating to you was so powerful that it made the immediately preceding miracle seem practically paltry in nature. A short background...
This weekend, someone told me that if EE fell through for me, I could be a gameshow host. The thought that someone would ever say that stopped me in my tracks for a moment (as I'm sure it would do to my frosh roommates...), but I came to think about how much free crap I have swindled out of lonely Subway employees over the years. These poor people sit alone for hours, oftentimes without any customers, hating their lives. A little convo is more than worth the consequences of a free soda or cookie, apparently.
Cut back.
So the minidonuts were not "Tom Thumb" minidonuts... casting serious doubt on how genuine they were, and, indeed, how tasty they would be. Over the past few months, I have become increasingly good and narrowing the search and eliminating impostors from my hungry gullet. To verify their deliciousness, I decided to start a very animated conversation with the attendant in the trailer. This convo continued, so as to include the owner of the establishment himself. Soon, he begged me to try a free sample of his incredible new concoction.
And here it is.
Vanilla soft serve.
+
Hot, fresh out of the fryer minidonuts.
+
Vanilla soft serve.
+
Chocolate syrup.
Sweet Lord, Pappy Johnson with an erection, this is the most amazing amalgamation of food products ever to be dreamt up. Seriously, it was amazing. A defining moment in my life.
And to think that it happened at the ripe old age of 23. Twenty freaking three. Apparently it has been this many years to the day that this blue planet has been blessed with this shining mug.
Also, I was accused of having hat hair 3 times this weekend. It's my real hair, you jerks.
I'm glad you devoted a whole post to minidonuts. I think your next one should be about awkward moments at bbqs. You could fill a whole page! Good times, though! Glad you got your fix--now you have to wait about a month and a half until that event over in St. Paul. (I can't even say it).
Posted by
Emily |
10:40 PM