Jumped the Clink
Baby, I'm sorry.
I've just been so busy lately! My research has demanded so very much of my time, and I feel as though I'm constantly in the lab. This is, of course, to say nothing of my work. On top of all this, I have bills to pay, and now my primary mode of transportation is on the fritz!
Yeah! My bike is jacked up! It don't work no mo'. I'd get into the details, but let's let it suffice to say that it has made more than one attempts on my life, each of which in the middle of various well-traversed intersections in town. I had to scoop my sandal out from underneath some guy's bumper as he laughed and revved his engine. Which is no good, since I'm still just as weak as ever.
Yeah! No freakin' joke, I'm still a freakin' rail. Somehow I have not fulfilled my goal of going to the gym daily. It's hard to say exactly why... but I haven't. Perhaps it has something to do with my dietary habits.
Yeah... no food in the fridge. It happens. No food in the fridge for a month? Ummm... I dine out a fair amount. You'd think that would thicken me up a bit, huh? Apparently not. Jimmy John's sandwiches and beer... the new weightloss solution. Which is rough because I seriously need to work on my tan.
Yeah, my tan. After 3 summers of seeing little to no sunlight every day, I finally see the opportunity to snag some rays. Unfortunately, the lake is a long ways away and gas is expensive.
Yeah, I know that I have an iOFF, but any fuel mileage less than infinity is fuel mileage that I have to pay for. Going to the pumps is a pain, yo. A pain. Kinda like the pain my contacts were giving me.
Yeah, my contacts, J. They were getting wicked old. I went to the plantation and picked up a new set that apparently allows 17 times more oxygen through to my (abnormally flat?) corneas than my prior set. Which is great, considering my stupid sinuses constrict the flow of oxygen to the rest of my body.
Yeah, the dumb sinuses are still everpresent... I spend lots of time drinking water these days. With what little time remains, I have to drive drunkards to Twins games!
Yeah! Drunkards! To Twins games! What a hectic schedule!
So I guess what I'm saying, Love, is that I am really quite sorry.
I'm sorry that my life has been so frantic lately.
...and that somehow, I managed to miss/forget our wedding.
I know you wanted to be a June bride... shall we shoot for next year? To think of you waiting at the altar on June 14th tears me up. Really. In fact, I'll give you a free shot in August to trip me on any type of surface you want. Grass, asphalt, concrete... it's up to you.
That is, of course, if you haven't moved on. House Tramp.
Love ya, two E's!
I've just been so busy lately! My research has demanded so very much of my time, and I feel as though I'm constantly in the lab. This is, of course, to say nothing of my work. On top of all this, I have bills to pay, and now my primary mode of transportation is on the fritz!
Yeah! My bike is jacked up! It don't work no mo'. I'd get into the details, but let's let it suffice to say that it has made more than one attempts on my life, each of which in the middle of various well-traversed intersections in town. I had to scoop my sandal out from underneath some guy's bumper as he laughed and revved his engine. Which is no good, since I'm still just as weak as ever.
Yeah! No freakin' joke, I'm still a freakin' rail. Somehow I have not fulfilled my goal of going to the gym daily. It's hard to say exactly why... but I haven't. Perhaps it has something to do with my dietary habits.
Yeah... no food in the fridge. It happens. No food in the fridge for a month? Ummm... I dine out a fair amount. You'd think that would thicken me up a bit, huh? Apparently not. Jimmy John's sandwiches and beer... the new weightloss solution. Which is rough because I seriously need to work on my tan.
Yeah, my tan. After 3 summers of seeing little to no sunlight every day, I finally see the opportunity to snag some rays. Unfortunately, the lake is a long ways away and gas is expensive.
Yeah, I know that I have an iOFF, but any fuel mileage less than infinity is fuel mileage that I have to pay for. Going to the pumps is a pain, yo. A pain. Kinda like the pain my contacts were giving me.
Yeah, my contacts, J. They were getting wicked old. I went to the plantation and picked up a new set that apparently allows 17 times more oxygen through to my (abnormally flat?) corneas than my prior set. Which is great, considering my stupid sinuses constrict the flow of oxygen to the rest of my body.
Yeah, the dumb sinuses are still everpresent... I spend lots of time drinking water these days. With what little time remains, I have to drive drunkards to Twins games!
Yeah! Drunkards! To Twins games! What a hectic schedule!
So I guess what I'm saying, Love, is that I am really quite sorry.
I'm sorry that my life has been so frantic lately.
...and that somehow, I managed to miss/forget our wedding.
I know you wanted to be a June bride... shall we shoot for next year? To think of you waiting at the altar on June 14th tears me up. Really. In fact, I'll give you a free shot in August to trip me on any type of surface you want. Grass, asphalt, concrete... it's up to you.
That is, of course, if you haven't moved on. House Tramp.
Love ya, two E's!
Something about this felt very much like an Onion column.
Posted by
Mal |
7:24 AM
Ha ha ha.... nobody ever believes you.... maybe because you're always intoxicated.
Posted by
Emily |
11:30 AM
Ha ha ha! You're just mad because the Blue Eyed Gopher's Cousin thinks you're a wasteland! So what did you do last Friday? Mmm?
Posted by
ndNips |
12:32 PM
R. Baby....you don't need to apologize to me. But I am a bit concerned about your road- I mean track to looking like a rail. Yeah, I miss you dearly. Yeah, you're only the second person to almost subtly dedicate a post to me. Yeah, I have to continue with volume two of my "Posts of people I love." Come down here and I'll make you fried rice, get your skin tanned, and discuss more marital plans. This House Tramp is content being a July, August, or September bride. The astors ought to be in full bloom by then.
Posted by
MJ |
2:20 PM
Happy birthday you motorboating son of a bitch
Posted by
Mal |
9:51 AM