Nips' Conniptions

Summer school sucks, man. Invariably, you end up taking some class you really don't care about and spend the entire time wishing that you were out enjoying the day. Take my weekend, for example. I was tasked with carrying out a field trip to study the seasonal maintenance and erection of automobile vias. Trust me, this sort of hands on study is nothing you would like to experience in person. As they say, the devil is in the details, and I was forced to duke it out with Lucifer head on.

The expedition started smoothly enough by starting at the end. You see, when learning, as with any good novel, it is a good idea to know where you are going... a quick flip to the last page, if you will. I embarked with my trusty iOFF and traversed some well constructed roads in the Minneapolis/St. Paul region. About 5 minutes in, I came upon the final stages of a maintenance zone. Cones were piled on the side of the road, construction signs aimed away from traffic and a feeling of lightness and relief hung in the air.

A short time later, I was slammed into a hour long wait to study the emotional impact of Complete Interstate Crown Replacement. It was intense. And painful. Fortunately, after breaking free from this burden, I was again given the chance to view Complete Interstate Crown Replacement from yet another view. This time, the road was so close, I could see the sweat on the workers brows as they lay the new surface.

Continuing on, I witnessed 4 different examples of overpass construction, and 2 examples of lane replacement, one on the side of a hill.

Still farther, I was able to bear witness to the building of a practical addition to the road way: the toll booth. I was able to see the demolition of an old toll booth, the use of a makeshift toll booth, the construction of a new toll booth, the completion of a new toll booth, AND the 21st century "Open Road Toll" booth. My notebook was filling up.

I was able to see dense urban ramp repair and total expressway destruction in downtown Chicago. My heart asplode.

Shockingly, Rockcago had yet more to offer as I was able to examine the construction of a skyway-expressway interface. A rare treat.

In addition, I was able to see how exactly to clear an accident from the arrivals area of a crowded urban airport in such a way as to generate a 20 minutes wait for travelers.

I was able to see how dirty Indianans shut down roads without marking "Dead Ends" such that I was allowed to drive right up to the construction, nearly run over a curb/pole in fury, and turn back to drive the quarter mile back to the main road.

Most impressively, I was also able to examine many of these construction artifacts in multiple states of mind. While my first state was one of inquisitive thirst for knowledge and/or extreme road rage, the second was that of wishing that I would die. This was on the return trip. Inexplicably.

While you wouldn't think it could get worse, I assure you that it indeed could! I experienced all of the above intensive studies once again, as a review, and was subject to yet more evil construction! I witnessed western Wisconsin's interstate resurfacing practices and even the erection of a new bridge in the city of Winona to allow for emergency vehicles to traverse the city in the presence of a long coal train. This unique project also called for the complete destruction of several buildings and roads. I took extra time to note the difference between work on a state highway setting versus the interstate venue.

Thankfully, variety lay in wait for me. Continuing in the direction of observing more local projects, I was able to observe the behaviors of a iPod-rocking-out-flag man who kept me waiting at a dead stop for 15 minutes before the Lead Car came around to Lead me to the other side of the construction. Without him, I surely would have gotten lost.

I saw uniform road maintenance in the form of tarring and gravelling.

I saw brand new bridge construction.

I saw police alerts.

I saw embankment reinforcement construction.

I saw bridge painting.

I saw 4 chain lawnmowers.

I saw surveyors.

This report will be ridick, but at least I can say that the field trip was informative. Never before have I encountered the raw power of the automobile as it relates to its environment. We worship the thing like a deity, perpetually expanding and maintaining its altar.

Simply stunning.

What's better? Somehow I got a blister from shifting? Impressive for a tough guy like me.

Oh, and as an added bonus, I got to hang with the crew from ND. We broke into my old apt, went to a bunch of bars that somehow I never went to as a student. Saw the campus. Chucked some pigskin. Consumed some burgers. And ordered non-wine coolers.

Moose and I were freakin' champs and we rocked the Bend fairly hard in the company of this guy, this guy, and this girl. In addition, it was great to see the Dooz, Cahcknhiswoman, and, of course, the Ball.

Posted by ndNips on Tuesday, June 13, 2006 at 6:55 PM | Permalink