Lambasted
My closet looks like that of an Amazon's. Specifically, the floor. I've got tons of shoes. This is not, as it might seem, the product of vanity, but rather, of thrift (packratitude?). You see, my shoes have this annoying habit of developing large holes in their soles making them unwearable during the dark months.
Exhibit A:
Every time this happens, I dutifully traipse off to the mall where I get input on buying a pair of shoes that I can kind of stand. 9 months (apparently the gestation period for precious bundles of holes-in-Nips'-shoes) pass, and I'm back where I started: with a wet foot. Of course, these shoes serve their purpose just fine in the dry months, but when they blow out on me on a rainy day, I am forced to fall back on the old standbys: My 10th grade Sketchers. These shoes have a magical property. For some reason, this pair of shoes only develops holes on the sides of the shoe. This gives me a quarter-inch clearance to avoid swamp foot... which is far superior to exhibit A's performance. In order to keep these babies going, I had them resoled sometime during the college years when the heel got a bit worn. Anyway, back at the ranch, I had been spending an extensive amount of time preparing for that little test during the wet month of March and didn't have a chance to get to the mall to replace my newly blown out kicks. As a result, March was very damp in a very intimate way.
Now when MJ came to visit, we rocked the Mall of America and, well, I got very much made fun of. The woman at Nordstrom's at first was feeling bad that I had two diminutive Asians mercilessly ripping me apart until I told her that I had resoled a pair of Sketchers. After insisting that I could not have possibly talked someone into performing such surgery, she was shocked when I pulled them out and showed her the nails that hold the Sketch's together. So shocked that she called over her little shoe peddler buddy. Who was so shocked that he called over his little shoe peddler boss. Who flat out ridiculed me. No joke.
That was super great.
Exhibit A:
Every time this happens, I dutifully traipse off to the mall where I get input on buying a pair of shoes that I can kind of stand. 9 months (apparently the gestation period for precious bundles of holes-in-Nips'-shoes) pass, and I'm back where I started: with a wet foot. Of course, these shoes serve their purpose just fine in the dry months, but when they blow out on me on a rainy day, I am forced to fall back on the old standbys: My 10th grade Sketchers. These shoes have a magical property. For some reason, this pair of shoes only develops holes on the sides of the shoe. This gives me a quarter-inch clearance to avoid swamp foot... which is far superior to exhibit A's performance. In order to keep these babies going, I had them resoled sometime during the college years when the heel got a bit worn. Anyway, back at the ranch, I had been spending an extensive amount of time preparing for that little test during the wet month of March and didn't have a chance to get to the mall to replace my newly blown out kicks. As a result, March was very damp in a very intimate way.
Now when MJ came to visit, we rocked the Mall of America and, well, I got very much made fun of. The woman at Nordstrom's at first was feeling bad that I had two diminutive Asians mercilessly ripping me apart until I told her that I had resoled a pair of Sketchers. After insisting that I could not have possibly talked someone into performing such surgery, she was shocked when I pulled them out and showed her the nails that hold the Sketch's together. So shocked that she called over her little shoe peddler buddy. Who was so shocked that he called over his little shoe peddler boss. Who flat out ridiculed me. No joke.
That was super great.
...and then I bought two pair.
...and returned one with extreme prejudice.
Posted by
ndNips |
11:19 PM