Nips' Conniptions

As an Irish Gopher, I have to drag myself out my burrow at early o'clock every morning... rarely to find my shadow... and ride my vandalized bike in to school through the freezing cold to sit in amazingly uncomfortable chairs and take notes in class. Interestingly, every course I am enrolled in happens to be a "Unite" class. This means that, since the classes are fairly introductory, several companies across the state/country feel that it is worth $600 + tuition per person to have their poor employees sit in some room (presumably with equally uncomfortable chairs) and watch my class via a microwave or internet transmission. This requires a "Man Behind The Glass" (As they are so colorfully and endearingly described) to sit in a little room and twiddle joysticks that control some remote cameras for the purposes of capturing the lecture. "Off campus" students are then able to call in via telephone, or, if they happen to be in a Unite Center, can patch video of themselves in to the class and ask questions, if they choose. This has never happened. In addition, in-class students have microphones that can be used to capture their questions cas well. This also has never happened. It isn't all bad, though... they have a camera mounted in the ceiling that gives worthwhile overhead shots of the podium so the professor has only to say "HELLO? MAN BEHIND THE GLASS?? COULD I GET AN OVERHEAD SHOT FOR THE TENTH TIME?", and it miraculously shows up on the 15 monitors hanging from various points in the room. High tech.

So after a half hour or so of listening to the same crap (...discussion topics...) that I have had pounded into my head in one of my other two classes, the chairs start to become surprisingly comfortable. Soon, not only do the chairs begin to remind me of La-Z-boys, but the table starts too look like the most amazingly accomodating of down pillows... and I may or may not fade from consciousness from time to time.

In addition to the various cameras trained on the professor, there is also a remote controlled camera that sits perched at the front of the class waiting for some unsuspecting victim... err... student... to ask a question. It then flashes to him/her, allowing the question to be published to the world wide web. This has never happened.

One time, as my persecution chair was beginning to soften up, I happened to glance up towards the camera, only to find it pointed directly at me. I stared at it for a moment as the chair firmed up good and splintery, and looked over in time to see the "Man Behind The Glass" giving me a very strange grin. Awkwardly, I turned back and tried to pay attention to the professor, but the camera didn't move. It stayed on me for the rest of the class. Like some sort of flagrant stalker or something, the stupid thing just stared at me with its unblinking eye. Kinda freaked me out.


EDIT: Mmm... just realized that the whole thing could be summed up as: "This guy was watching and video taping me in class. Kinda freaked me out." Oh, well!

Posted by ndNips on Thursday, October 27, 2005 at 8:38 PM | Permalink