Grab Bag
Got money? Got extra weight? Got mediocre cooking skills? I got a deal for you. That's right, kids, the answer to all of your excessive weight problems is contained right here within these 4 Efficiency walls. It's fast, simple, and garrrrunteed. Will it affect your lifestyle? Of course! Will you hate me by the end? Probably! Will you finish the program feeling as though your muscles have been robbed of energy? You can only hope... I have! I am now offering the secret to my double-digit weight loss plan that has left me with a bunch of baggy clothes and a trim, albeit emaciated, bod. How do you opt in? How does it work? Simple! All you have to do is come cook for me. Eat what I eat and do what I do, and you will soon be disgusted at how quickly the pounds come off. Sometimes you can actually feel them running away (though sometimes their screams are a little overly dramatic...). Skeptical? I was too! Particularly since I formerly ranked in the "Dangerous Body Fat Composition -- Any accident/trip to hospital that may preclude normal diet would lead to serious problems" category! What am I now? Who knows? I could probably die at any second! What I do know is that my proven weightloss regime will drop your weight to levels that approximate how much you weighed back when you were half your height.OH, GOD.
So, CNN made this awesome little graphic to show the results of the latest survey showing the top 10 states for auto-deer collisions. It featured a map of the United States with ranked states of different hues. Just in case you missed the deer headline, intro deer picture, deer article, and deer caption, they showed a picture of an elk crossing sign at the top of the graphic. An elk.
OH, GOD.
Driving home from the plantation today and pulled up to a stop a couple blocks from my apartment. There I spied an unkept looking fellow who was demonstrating an odd posture on the street corner. It took me a moment to realize that the gentleman was openly relieving himself on a sign. He happened to be surrounded by, I believe (and I don't think I am exaggerating...), 15 lanes of traffic. 4:10 pm. Brazen.
OH, GOD.
Have you ever considered the possibility that you may have a tapeworm?
Posted by
Lizett! |
11:27 AM
SHE IS RIGHT.
OR MAYBE IT IS ALL THE COKE THAT YOU ARE DOING.
YOU ALWAYS DID LIKE THE NOSE CANDY IN HIGH SCHOOL
Posted by
Emily |
11:36 PM